Connecting your worlds.
Rarely, great sex can be enjoyed without great lovemaking. But usually, the most satisfying sexual experience is one in which partners share deep emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy during the act of sexual intimacy. Some couples endure their entire relationship without ever experiencing the joy and freedom inherent in pure physical and emotional intimacy, while other couples experience this nirvana-like state consistently in their lovemaking over many years.
What’s the difference between a drab sexual and emotional relationship, and the amazing bliss of total sexual intimacy?
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It’s different than you might think. It has nothing to do with techniques, breathing exercises, physical stamina, erection strength, or whether or not you forgot to empty the dishwasher.
Deeply satisfying sexual intimacy is only possible when two conditions are met:
1. Each partner must love himself or herself. You cannot give yourself freely, openly, without shame or apology, and with the earnestness that true emotional intimacy requires, unless you know in your soul that you are a beautiful being. You may only receive your partner’s gift of self if you know yourself to be worthy of that gift. This is not meant to imply that you need to undergo a religious conversion, increase your tithe amount, or anything along those lines. Certainly, if you’re harboring secrets from your lover, your intimacy will suffer, so you should rectify that immediately in order to experience the kind of sexual intimacy we’re talking about here. But experiencing togetherness in mind, body, and spirit during sexual union is truly possible only when you recognize the inherent worth, beauty, goodness, and strength of your own being. Don’t shy away from it. Honor it, revel in it, enjoy it, and be thankful for it. Learning to love yourself as you are is the most important step in overcoming any fear of intimacy that you might have.
2. Each partner must love and admire the other. This sounds obvious, but countless couples remain together for reasons other than love. If you don’t experience a burning desire to have your lover; if you don’t want more of him or her even as you’re having each other; if the sight of your lover doesn’t make your genitalia tingle; if you don’t admire their beauty, strength, intelligence, and grace; if you feel even the slightest post-coital revulsion; these are all clues that you’re in a relationship that won’t last except by force of will exerted over your natural self. Such relationships can last decades, but invariably at the cost of a deep yearning of your own soul to experience the love that you know to be possible. The choice is yours (it’s your life), but you’re not likely to experience the element of deep sexual intimacy and emotional oneness with your current partner unless you feel an inexorable attraction to him or her.
Try this test after your next sexual encounter: lay next to your partner after sex, and look at his or her body and face. Does watching your partner make you want to have sex with him or her again, even though you’ve just finished? If so, it’s a good sign that you enjoy the kind of deep-seated emotional and physical attraction that has the power to fuel a fiery intimacy that will last over time.
If not, don’t despair. Your lack of desire may be related to the way you feel about yourself. ConnectionAudio’s sexual intimacy meditation mp3 is designed to improve the intimacy you experience by guiding you through exercises that enhance your self-love, and help you to reconnect with your sexual self (which we often lose through decades of religious, institutional, social, and peer programming).
The meditation is available for immediate download to iTunes or any other audio program that supports the mp3 format.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
